| school bus |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|07:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
I have my CDL and have been driving the school buses for 1 yr now. When summer came I didn't get to do summer school for my kids. Not sure why when I have been driving that bus off and on since Aug 2008. The official driver in Oct 2008. When this school year started I didn't get my bus back. I got a in town route with approx 70 students. Soon after school started I had to go to a religious meeting for my son. While there I notified everyone that our bus company will not be providing rides to CCD (religion classes). I also volunteered my bus once my kids were on if I had room they could ride to a bus stop and walk together to religion classes. I figured safety in numbers. Next day I go in trouble at work. Why? For volunteering the company. I got in trouble again the next day by the Superintendent. I was told to back off or he would have my job. K I was a good girl didn't say anything but hi and by to my student on the bus. Then I started to getting complaints. From students standing on my bus, students moving from seat to seat etc.... let me tell you I am not the only bus out there with students like this. You can follow anyone of the grade/middle school buses and you will find a student/s doing the same as what were mine were doing. I fully believe the Superintendent was out for me. Everything was going good for awhile. I was at a stop sign when I got a call on my radio asking if I had students standing. I said yes and I requested them to please close the windows and no one was around so we took this time to do it. Complaints started again. I started writing up students. After 3 write ups you to be removed off the bus for how ever long the school says.I was getting complaints that there was to many write ups.I got a call over the radio to call call them when done with the route. I did after that I was told the Superintendent wanted me off my bus. I was told I would drive in am and I wasn't allowed to say bye to the students. To this day that bothers me. I was put back on my old bus. This bus route takes me from 620am to 740am 220pm to 415pm. |
|
|
| Again |
[Nov. 14th, 2009|07:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
It seems to be starting back up. Not at the level it was last time, but it starting just the same. My husband is back at yelling me. I don't remember what our son did last night, but he was yelling at him. I could hear him in my front room. I never left the front room please keep that in mind. I don't remember what I did after he was done yelling at our son he was in the front room. He told me to shut up When I do try and talk and explain something I am interrupted all the time. It is bad when I can not get a coherent sentence out, and I lose my train of thought. What really makes this bad is my hubby is a minister. Minister of what I don't know. It can't be of God. Not when he destroys us. He doesn't he realize worse may not leave bruises that can be seen, but they are there just the same. I don't make enough money to make it on my own, and I will not live in government housing. I won't go to a home for battered woman and children. It is out of town. I know the school system, teachers etc... here plus my job is here. So I am lost with no place to go but to shut up and take the verbal abuse. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|09:40 am] |
Today is my birthday and no one has said Happy Birthday to me yet. Kinda bummed over it. It is also ironic that I am now the same age my Mom was when she passed away from Cancer.
(sings)
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me |
|
|
| My idiot brother |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|10:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
Ugh my brother Earle is back it again. Yes this is the one I have power of attorney over, and who also now has my nephew austin. If you have read my past journals you will know what I am talking about.
He may go back to prison. Why because he was stupid when he seen his wife climbing out of the house through a window he pulled her back in via the hair and she started kicking, scratching, biting. I guess he clocked her. A part of me understands why he did what he did meaning by trying to get her in the house not hitting, and another also understands his side. that is his version Hers is he pulled her by the hair onto the bed and started beating her she tried to push him off with her legs(once) so where is his kicking hmmmm, scratching.
I think what happened is since she was drunk and he seen her climbing out of the window he was trying to stop her as the day this happened we had a major cold snap hit so in his way he was looking out for her, but he should of called the police and notified them she was drunk and was outside that would of avoided all this. |
|
|
| 2008 |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|04:16 pm] |
In 2008,  anselmo_2 resolves to... Start a chocolate fund. Go directing three times a week. Stop acting with bluetoille. Admit my true feelings to evil_book_lady. Buy new musicals. Volunteer to spend time with tattoos. |
|
|
| former In-laws |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
I volunteered to take my 6 yr old nephew to see dear old Dad. I thought what the heck I will bring my 8yr old son and he can play with both his cousins. My brother has the other boy who is 12.
Everything was fine and dandy till I went to take home my nephew. I went to his Mom's no-one was home so I thought k she is over at a friends place went there and you know what? Nadda she wasn't there either and the friend had no idea where she was. I took my nephew to his Grandma the Mom's Mom.
I asked if they knew where the Mom was. They while in church got a message from her saying she was going out of town with this truck driver who she met on the internet, and would be back the 14th.
Now this is just bogus both the Grandma, Aunt, Dad and myself were all set up. The Mom had this planned. the Grandma told her No she could not take the Grandson for that long as her eyes are bad. the Aunt is busting her tail working 2 jobs paying of student loans, and has never had kids and chose not to for a reason. She doesn't want to be stuck raising this child for a possibility of another 12yrs.
My brother the Dad is furious over all this. He has went to the city police and filed a report on her for abandonment and filed one with DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) then he went so far as to contact Public-aid. Why? Well She was claiming all her kids for food stamps. her 16yr old daughter moved out back on June 1st and lives with the Grandma. The 17 yr old moved out with the boyfriend back in July. The 12 yr old has lived with my brother since July sometime. Hmmmm she should get punished. She shouldn't get away scott free.
Sorry to vent I am just so frustrated over all this. As always I was pulled into this mess. My brother is going to go for full custody of the 6yr old. Can't say I blame him. |
|
|
| Broadway Musicals |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|03:56 pm] |
(Yeah I finally got one happy dance) Here is my lyrics
Why it's the Model T Ford
Made the trouble
Made the people wanna go
Wanna get, wanna get
Wanna get up and go |
|
|
| Nephew |
[Jul. 26th, 2007|12:01 pm] |
|
Update my nephew had court on the 24th. We had a different judge this time. This one tried my nephew nephew and his cousin separately which was a good thing. Plus the judge pointed out how much does a 12 year old understand of the legal system. My nephew did get to come home that day he is living with his dad my brother. My nephew will have to undo psychological testing to see if he is a predator or a stalker. Or was this simply a child's mistake not understanding the new changes in his body? |
|
|
| Nephew |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|02:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
Yesterday was my nephew's 12th birthday, and my first one away from him. I found out but please note this is all hear say that my nephew was at his cousins house and his Mom has several porno movies and they would watch them when she wasn't home. If this is true now I know where he got the idea.
Today, many people find themselves captive to addictive cycles of viewing pornography, masturbation, illicit sex, online affairs, prostitution, phone sex and other sexual activities.
Many people have been emotionally wounded at some point in their lives. These wounds can create a weakness in us that makes us vulnerable to sex addiction. Some common wounds that contribute to sex addiction are molestation, rejection, abuse and neglect. A natural reaction is to seek something to remove the pain of our wounds, and to help us get our minds off it. Since sex can be such a pleasurable experience, people often run to it as a source of medication for the pain.
For example, a person may find solace in pornography from the pain of rejection, past failures, or insecurity. Porn facilitates his or her sexual fantasy, which offers them the feeling of being in control , being loved and/or being sexually desired. It may give him or her a temporary comfort which soothes the pain of their troubles.
Porn's pleasures come with a price. They feed a fire in us called lust. Lust is "intense or unbridled sexual desire" (Webster's). Lust acts like a fire that burns out of control. It tries to consume more and more of our thoughts and resources. The more we feed our mind with sex images, the more lust grows in our life.
The power of lust can be broken. An obvious but often forgotten fact is that we have the power to choose what we will let into our eyes and minds.
1) Pornography feeds lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh, which are never satisfied. It leaves the viewer craving more and more in order to achieve the same "sexual high." It easily enslaves people to their own cravings and opens the door to other forms of evil, like anger, abuse, violence, hatred, lying, envy, compulsiveness and selfishness. The power behind porn is revealed when the porn addict tries to stop their habit - it is virtually impossible without help.
2) Pornography sexualizes the viewer's mindset. It warps and perverts their perspective such that sex is unnaturally elevated in their thoughts. Porn's images are stamped into viewer's brain with the aid of hormones released during sexual arousal. Even if a person decides to stop looking at porn, the past images can remain for years or even a lifetime.
Sorry all found this on www.Porn-free.com website.
Since my father watched it and I grew up with it. I agree 100% pornography is like a drug once inhaled you are its captive til you find away to break free and remain so. It hasn't been a easy road. |
|
|
| Nephew |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|09:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
Here is the update I promised on my nephew. As you know he was arrested and had to go to court yesterday. We were told my nephew is facing 7 charges, not the originally told you about yesterday. The first 4 were on the 6year old little girl. One for holding her down,two for covering her up, three for inserting a finger in her vagina and four for inserting a finger in her anus.
Now I am a bit confused here. Why? I know DCFS had this child check out and nothing was found and "quote" allegation's were dropped. Here it is a month later and the states attorney pick up these "quote" charges and had my nephew and his cousin arrested on Monday July 16th. They have to spend a week in a detention center til July 24th when we go back to court. Why did it take a month for the state to do anything? The victim was check what evidence do they have?
Charges 5-7 are on another victim. My nephews own 6yr old female cousin. A neighbor caught it and spoke to the Grandmother. He was seen holding this girl down on a trampoline, and rubbing his genital area against her buttocks(please remember these kids are fully clothed), and he threaten harm if she told.
I do not think a detention center is right for my nephew or his cousin for that matter. I think they need to go to a group home where they deal with these problems and get them the help they need on how to deal with this in the future. I also think they need to be psychological tested.
Again please understand I am not trying to down play any of this. |
|
|
| Happy Birthday to Me |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|02:54 pm] |
Here it is my 42nd birthday and the only one to remember is my daughter. I know evilbooklady remembered thanks for that Jul. I haven't even gotten a call from my brother. You think I would. Oh well I guess I jus need to suck it up.
I did finally hear from my brother at 10:45pm he was of course drunk. Once my husband found out he felt really bad and so did my youngest he cried because he didn't get me anything for my birthday. |
|
|
| Job Interview |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|02:05 pm] |
I took my daughter Ariel yesterday to Taco Bell they were having a open fill out your application and get interview day. My daughter when it came to the interview part just froze up. She did not get the job, and yes this was her very first interview. I still faulter on interviews and I am 41. Needless to say he the store manager said for her to call in a week. I hope she does. My nieces who I took out much later both got a job right on the spot. How do I help a very bashful, shy introvert out? I know she needs to be more outgoing and sure of herself, but it is hard to be.
I know I was like my daughter when I was younger. |
|
|
| Still dealing |
[Jun. 12th, 2007|04:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I am still dealing with Sally's untimely death. I am beating myself over the head trying to figure out why I did not call her back the night before. Why was I so dog gone worried about my internet not working, and had Shawn(hubby) call our local cable company to find out. I know why I was worried the internet was Sally's and mine communication and we would chat for hours.
Anyway cable company messed up my connection and as you all know I was unable to get there in time to be with Sally when she died.
I do not know how may of you have read my play Do Wounds Ever Heal. but I am thinking of adding to it. Here is some thoughts.
I am compelled to assess your achievement and your failures.
For some 15 years I was your daughter, your sidekick and your Sancho Panza. By that I have learned a million things a child should never know.
Cursed you long and loud "damn you Dale Rogers" Do you hear me? Cried a million tears.
Having to deal with the anger, hurt, betrayal, loneliness, never trusting, thinking I was a bad kid, and I must do what you want to keep your love.
The ending I want to change with just me standing alone. Maybe stating this is now my story to tell as I am now all alone. Sally has passed away and now I must face the future by myself and be haunted by my past. Will I ever move on?
I don't know why but this is the first time in a long time. I know Sally has only been dead 3 months but I am starting to find my self starting to break down and cry even at work. |
|
|
| thinking of new tattoo |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|02:35 pm] |
|
Ok I will admit I am stuck. As most of your know I have three tattoos, but I am wanting another for my back. I already have on my back right shoulder blade a pegasus and it covers almost my whole shoulder blade. Now for my problem what else can I put on my back that would go with a pegasus? I simply and honesty have always loved horses, wolves and I am really into dragons. Any ideas or comments would be great. |
|
|
| Aunt Sally |
[May. 22nd, 2007|05:22 pm] |
It is hard to believe but April was a month of of hell. First I had the 1st anniversary of Sally's death on the 7th. Then the very next day the 8th was my Mom's death anniversary of 19 years, then my Dad's was April 22nd at 10years.
What makes this so hard is my employer which is a nursing home. I called them 15th letting them know I hurt my back. Well they call me back in 24hrs stating on my voice mail til I have proof I am taking my CNA exam I can not set foot on the floor. They dog gone know I was scheduled for April 19th. I called Springfield to verify I am scheduled for my CNA exam. Tony verified everything and to boot he gave me his extension number for my work. I call Good Samaritan and told my D. O. N. Got another call back this on telling me I will have to take my CNA schooling all over again. I was shocked. I know I have 2 years to take my exam and pass it and get to work. I again called Springfield and talked to Tony. He reasurred me I didn't have to go back to school and didn't know what my job was trying to pull. I called back to work, and informed them I am scheduled for my CNA exam on Friday april 19th in Bloomington, IL. I do not have to redo my schooling. In the meantime I went looking for another job. I work now for Manpower. I don't make what I was making. I was making 9.50hr now I make 8hr. but I figure will gas I am breaking even. I did take my CNA exama and Passed. Have I talked to Good Sam since? Nope has they talked to me? Nope. They did how ever try and make me feel guilty and all but no luck and I didn't sign any of their papers and yes I did get my last pay.
Will I go back to nursing. Oh yea I will but it will be on my terms and my shift now. I am good a nursing. I thought I might go back to school and get my RN. We will see. |
|
|
| Sally |
[Mar. 15th, 2007|08:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I feel so alone since Sally died. As I stated in my last posting Sally was more like a sister to me than an Aunt. I heard from the nurses she was sitting up and talking and even ate some thing, but wanted to go to sleep well the rest is history. I was a half hour late of seeing her die. I don't understand why she went so fast. Why didn't she fight harder? Why didn't wait for me?I feel like a part of me died and is buried with Sally. I could tell her anything she knew everything, Now who do I talk too? Sally was online and we would chat. I knew she would never judge me. I was to finally take my CNA exam and I forgot my id at home an hour away from the testing center. I have to reschedule ugh just my luck. |
|
|
| My Aunt Sally |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
thought i would let those of you who really know me. My aunt Sally we were more like sisters of the heart more than aunt/niece we were very close in age. I am 41 and Sally 46. Sally passed away yesterday after a 10 month battle with cancer, it was in her lungs, liver, pancreas, bone,and her nerves. her long tremendous battle is finally over and she can finally rest. she is in my play do wounds ever heal.
right now I am very numb, but i do really wonder how I will deal with this since we were so close. I feel like a bird in a cage as everyone is watching me very closely. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
anselmo_2's journal
